The Brat Came Back
by Bri Nara
Summary: A 'The Cat Came Back' parody. Deidara keeps trying to get rid of a kid with a lollipop mask that has invaded his house. Crack-fic.


**Bri Nara Productions**

_Wow, it's been a while since I've done a Naruto fanfic, hasn't it? This is a parody of an old cartoon I found on Youtube called 'The Cat Came Back.' (Yes, I randomly jump around on Youtube when I'm out of good fanfics.) When I saw the part with the dynamite, I was thinking 'Deidara would like that' and voila~!_

_I don't own Naruto, nor the old cartoon. I just own my crack-filled thought bubbles._

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><p>Deidara sat there with the small pile of clay. Making art. As usual.<p>

That was until the doorbell rang. Ding-ding-ding-dong. Ding-ding-ding-dong.

'Why the hell did I get that doorbell, un?' Deidara thought as he continued working. 'If I just ignore it, they'll go away, un.'

Ding-ding-ding-dong. Ding-ding-ding-dong. _Ding-ding-ding-dong._

"UGH! DAMN DOORBELL, UN!" Deidara rawred as he stomped over to the front door. "WHAT, UN?"

Deidara looked around for the accursed doorbell-ringer. He was about to shut the door until he noticed something on the doorstep. More specifically, someone. On the doorstep was a kid with an orange mask that made him look like a lollipop. And judging by the way he was waving at the blonde, lollipop wasn't a far off guess.

"Hiya!" the kid cheered. "My name's Tobi! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Uh... hi Tobi..."

"Can Tobi stay here a while? Do you have any toys?" And before Deidara could refuse, the kid let himself into his house. "Oh~, what's this?" Tobi picked up a deformed clay doll.

A clay doll that Deidara's deceased best friend, Sasori, made a long time ago. And it was the only non-puppet thing he ever made.

"Hey! Be careful with tha-" CRASH. The clay doll was in a million pieces on the floor.

"Whoops."

Deidara's face turned 10 different shades of red in 3 seconds. "OUT! NOW! UN!" And the young artist proceeded to literally kick the brat out.

Only for Tobi to magical appear, jumping on the sofa, a moment later.

_Well Deidara had troubles of his own_

_He had a kid named Tobi who wouldn't leave his home_

_He had to kick him out and throw away the key_

_Just one little kid. How hard could it be?_

Deidara grabbed Tobi's wrist and dragged him outside. To the forest. That was about 8 miles from his house. Deidara dragged Tobi deep into the forest. And the plan went perfectly.

Until Deidara remembered he had no idea where the hell he was going and got lost on the way back.

So Deidara staggered back into his house. Plucking thorns and twigs and leaves from his hair. He did _not _expect the brat to be using his curtains as a freakin' cape.

_But the brat came back, the very next day._

_The brat came back, thought he was in the forest._

_But the brat came back_

_He just wouldn't stay away~_

"What the hell, un?" Deidara asked, wondering where the music was coming from. Deciding to ignore it, Deidara walked up to Tobi with a wide fake smile. "Hey, Tobi, un."

"Yes?" Tobi tilted his head to the side.

"Have you ever been to Disney?"

Later...

Deidara and Tobi were getting on the boat ride in Disney. One that would take them to different parks. Tobi was laughing away while Deidara was waiting for the boat to get far enough from the shore.

"Tobi! Look! The Easter Bunny!" Deidara shouted as he pointed in a random direction.

"Where?" Tobi looked away.

SPLASH. Deidara jumped off the boat and was swimming towards the shore.

Until he saw something in the water... with huge teeth...

"WHY THE HELL IS THERE A GATOR IN A FREAKING THEME PARK, UN?"

'Cuz you picked the Florida theme park.' the gator's look seemed to say before he started chasing Deidara.

Even more later...

Deidara slammed the door to his house open. He was soaking wet. Tired as hell. And he was pretty sure that gator bit his ass.

Deidara was about to rest on his couch. Until he noticed the big pink and _sticky _smudge on it.

_But the brat came back, the very next day._

_The brat came back, thought he was still at Disney._

_But the brat came back_

_He just wouldn't stay away~_

"Oh hell no..." Deidara saw Tobi on the couch with cotton candy. "OH HELL NO DID YOU GET COTTON CANDY ON MY BRAND F_ING NEW COUCH, UN!"

"Hiya~!" Tobi said with... what Deidara could only assume was a smile under that mask. "Want some?"

"Actually, I have a better idea."

Tobi was being lead outside to a huge hot air balloon. The only thing keeping it on the ground were a couple of ropes.

"Tobi, go in there for a second. Check if the basket's safe, un."

"Ok~."

Deidara pulled out a knife and cut the ropes. Deidara laughed as the balloon started going up.

"The balloon was safe!" said an annoying voice behind him.

Deidara turned around to see that lollipop mask.

"Wait... if you're not in the balloon..." Deidara looked down at the rope tied around his ankle. "Aw crap" was all he could manage before he was lifted into the air.

He shortly crash landed through the roof of his house. And the first thing Deidara noticed was that something was burning.

_But the brat came back, the very next day_

_The brat came back, Dei thought he was a goner_

_But the brat came back_

_He just wouldn't stay away~_

"IS THAT MY ARMCHAIR, UN?"

"Yeah! Tobi thought there should be a campfire!"

Eye-twitch. Eye-twitch. "No more Mr. Nice-Villain, un." Deidara pulled out a rope.

"Um... what are you going to do with that rope?"

Before he could even blink, he was tied to a train track. Deidara somehow got a train, and was laughing maniacally as he sped closer.

Until a random bug got onto the track and managed to send the whole train flying.

"WHAT THE FU-" CRASH.

Wherever Deidara landed, it was dark. And wet. And he heard breathing. So he dug around his pocket until he found a match, and lit it.

"Tobi!"

But when he turned around, it wasn't Tobi. It was a grinning fangirl.

Deidara gulped. He had a very bad experience with fangirls. And then he took the time to look around. At the hundreds of fangirls behind him.

Then the first girl blew out his match.

...There are a lot of time-skips here, don't you think?...

"I said I'm not giving you an autograph, un!" Deidara tried to squeeze through the door without letting the fangirls in. "GO AWAY, UN!"

He slammed the door and sighed.

There was nothing left of his couch except for a pile of stuffing. The TV remote was through the TV screen. The DVD player was on fire. Every clay sculpture in pieces. And Tobi was in the process of doodling on his photos.

_Well, Deidara had troubles of his own_

_The kid named Tobi still wouldn't leave his home._

_And since Deidara was an impulsive man_

_He came up with a very explosive plan..._

"THAT IS IT, UN! I'M TAKING YOU OUT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY, UN!"

Deidara had a sadistic grin as he opened the door to his closet. It was full of dynamite, fireworks, works of art full of dynamite, and every explosive known to man.

"Are those candles? Oh! Is it someone's birthday?" Tobi asked.

"Yeah, un. Make a wish, un." Deidara said as he lit the 'candles.'

"Tobi wishes he can stay with you forever and ever!"

"Wait, what, un?"

KA-BOOM.

Deidara opened his eyes and looked down at himself. White robe. Wings. Floaty halo thing. Yup, he was an angel. Unexpected, but Sasori always told him he had the face of an incredibly girly angel.

Deidara sighed in relief. He was finally free of that kid.

"Hey!"

Deidara's eyes widened as he turned around. White robe. Lollipop mask. Devil horns keeping the halo straight. Oh s_.

Angel-Sasori came out of nowhere with a red get-away car. Deidara hopped in and shouted "STEP ON IT, UN!"

And Tobi sat calmly in the back seat.

**I don't know _how _bored/out-of-my-mind I was when I wrote this, but here you go.**

**Review, please.**


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